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A Handbook of Life (excerpts from a book)


Native land

Love unattainable, love incomparable, fight for a lifetime, stones, stones, stones. One’s native land cannot be rented, nor ruined, just appraised and so is your destiny justified.

The ideal relationship

Caresses you and it does not hurt, does not hurt, does not hurt, even then…it does not hurt.

Rosalie

Rosalie was 93 and she would always be nice to us, to me and my child. She would play with him in the corridor and keep talking long about her family and about the fact that she bought her flat 50 years ago, so she has been living next to us since then. My favourite neighbour. One day the other neighbour said she was taken to the hospital. She would never leave her home as she was afraid of the traffic down on the street which was full of cars. She just fell in her flat, so needed to be taken to undergo surgery with her leg. Thus no one knew anything about her merely that the surgery was successful. Weeks have passed when I was told which hospital she is on which floor. Decided to go to visit her but each day something happened, either a new job interview or simply the fact that I did not have coins for flowers and bananas in my pocket. I need to take her something,  a  wee present I thought, so I will go the next day. Today the other neighbour said she died on Sunday. I was shocked. She was just like my grandma, but maybe a better one, as she was always nice. I felt like a very bad child, who could not say to her: we miss you Rosalie. Maybe not even the present would have been liked by her, rather my presence would have been valued… And now I don’t have a second chance. Never again.


Irresistible

You wish to become irresistible. You wish to be dreamed of, fond of, you wish to become a phenomenon rather than a real person? What steps do you take for it? You think, a nice body, a gorgeous smile is enough? No. Irresistible can be only if your soul is such. If it is deep enough, if it touches others. How many irresistible people do you find in life? Not many. Yet you believe in them, in an irresistible love, an irresistible marriage, irresistible dreams…your mind is full with irresistible things. You should get a good clean up of your fantasy. Maybe your skirt will fit a bit more irresistibly on your legs then…

Pigeons

Just as in Romeo and Juliet, true hearts meet as pigeons. You will feel release, you will get high without words, only with looks. You look at him, he looks at you and then you will understand. Pigeons are the birds of the universe. You will see in each others’ eyes all that is unspeakable. You will be transformed into a pigeon on his hand if he looks at you that way…

I have never been a pigeon yet. Maybe never will be…

The book is to be found on website: undergroundkiado.hu. Published in 2022.

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